So I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days, or maybe more than two weeks. I don’t know, my sense of time has been warped as much as everything else in the Global Consciousness. For me the immediate crisis, — the first wave of which their will definitely be a far worse second wave — has been relatively easy to absorb. I have just finished working for ___ & I am not paying any rent.
So I’ve just been surviving, no uber eats. All home cooked meals, last week I learned how to make Oknomiyaki & bought enough for about a weeks supply. Today’s red sauce pasta, tomorrow will be left over pasta and fruit. There is a peace to it, I feel like Thano’s sitting on his chair overlooking his crops.
Eventually the peace faded as I knew it would. The question of “what now” sits in my gut, imposing itself on me. My family is safe & secure for the most part, so they don’t need me. I have no practical knowledge to provide medical care; there are basically no jobs right now. I applied for a job at Centrelink to help & earn but I’m definitely not the only one. Other than that, there seemed to be absolutely nothing I can do right now to help. Just sit here & don’t lose your mind. Easy enough.
But I don’t think this is good enough, what this crisis reveals to me is the underbelly of the Dragon itself. If we strike now, effectively & thoughtfully, We may be able to actually change the trajectory of the battleship. Right now, things are so fucking wild that there is a genuine chance of full scale military action between nation states in the coming years. But the reality is, that my knowledge of the power dynamics in Australia are practically zero. All I know, is that I don’t wanna be involved in anything going on right now. Not Youtube, Netflix, Disney, ABC, Channel 7, The Liberal Party or The Labor party. All of it seems wildly strange and stupid, none of it makes any God damned sense.
I get stuck spinning my wheels, thinking about my identity as an entertainer. I always felt kind of filthy in it, the shadow side of entertainment is that it serves as a distraction while the ship is sinking. Sometimes I felt like I was deceiving everyone in the room; not least the chump behind the Drum Kit -me-.
I know one thing for sure, no currently existing Ideological or Economic framework is going to do anything except numb the pain for a few more years. The last thing I want to do is go back to fucking “normal.” Normal is a opened top jet powered sports car trying to break the speed of light. A pointless showboat trying to dodge the question, what the hell are we doing here?
therabbithole.fashion.blog 