Some Bitter Thoughts on the State of “Content”

Some days I think to myself “what the fuck am I actually doing?” Why the shit did I choose to do music & then film as a career. It’s thankless, you feel like a beggar all the time unless you sell your fucking soul to the corporations who keep the culture comfortably sedated. If you don’t buy into the old system you get to watch your “colleagues” who did, taking selfies on famous TV sets like they’re really important. I know I sound bitter but I do understand it, good, regular paycheques & prestige in the old world; while dying has not died yet. Especially not in Australia. Duck I’ve done it too I just couldn’t take it for more than a few months.

I listen to American creators & intellectuals a lot. It might just be my bias based on who I listen to but it feels like the game has changed altogether over there. You have people, able to make feature films on their own with their own crews, & crowdfunded cash. No need for fucking unions, giant production houses & suits telling you what you can & can’t do based on some kind of vague notion of morality (Ad Profits).

Meanwhile over here you still have only a few major networks, all slinging dog shit reality TV as their big-ticket item. Or else buying distribution to a bunch of old-world American shows like the Big Bang Theory.

I do hear about Australian content creators doing their thing on Youtube & the like. But nothing seems to have the same kind of relevance, maybe I just don’t care enough? I want to like Australian content but honestly most content, in general, is kind of meh. I guess that’s what the future is now though, an ocean of mediocrity that is perfectly tailored by algorithms to feed you a constant stream of “ok” enough shit to keep you distracted from the fact that we are melting away like ice-cream cones in the sun.

Here I am, as a contributor to the mediocrity. Trying to make something halfway decent, but who the fuck can when these days slip away faster than I can keep track of. Side note, when I was a kid I used to remember looking forward to events on weekends or on the calendar, I would be itching for it, not able to sleep, bored out of my mind waiting for what seemed like forever. I don’t do that anymore, not because I don’t have anything to look forward to. But because the weeks go by so quickly I don’t need don’t feel bored anymore, I feel rushed.

I struggle a lot with this idea of making art, making “content.” In a world where there are more videos than could be watched in thousands of lifetimes, there’s something so fucking pointless about it. Especially someone like me, who still carries this mind virus around in the back of my mind that I am going to do something great, noteworthy. I catch myself wishing I was an EMT or a psychologist, or a carpenter. Something with a tangible impact that I could measure. Instead, I dig around in the zeitgeist for shiny trinkets to pass off as insight, mostly all I find is tin cans though.

There’s also this idea, that I hate but it’s impossible not to get sucked into. The idea that the amount of followers, readers, subscribers, etc is the true metric value of your worth as a creator, &/or your value as a member of society. In comes that piece of stupid malware every Millennial has lodged in their brain. “Everyone is unique & special & has a place, & your impact is immeasurable etc.” This while it has a sprinkle of truth is mainly nonsense.

But everyone is looking to capitalise with the brute force of culture, seemingly half the fucking pages on any platform are coaching programs, repackaged 90’s self help bullshit or courses by savvy “entrepreneurs” who clearly haven’t done much except make their bread & butter income from the courses themselves.

But no matter what I still get jealous, I still see a follower count, view count or sub count & think “fuck their shit sucks ass, so how bad is my shit?” Some people have expressed concern sometimes when I get very brutally honest about how I feel, so just in case there’s no need to worry about me truly, I won’t stop, & for the most part I do enjoy it. I’ll keep digging away until I find something out there or I’ll die trying & finally have some peace.

Much love to you all & don’t die on me yet.